Saturday, February 15, 2014

On Success and Failure...

I recently arrived back in Zambia for my final 6 months of service.  I had trepidation about returning as my family in America is going through challenges, and your thoughts and prayers for my mom's quick recovery mean the world.  I arrived at my clinic and met with the builder of our health post (my second grant project) to find that very little work has been done on our project.  I left absolutely everything in place for my village to complete the building, running around a month in advance to purchase all materials, appoint villagers and committees to oversee the work. I made typed lists and schedules for all 11 villages to contribute small amounts of work.  Though I understand that building takes a lot of time in Africa, I did not expect so little to be accomplished in my absence.  Our builder even vocalized the feeling of hurt he saw materializing on my face after hearing this news.

I reached my hut to find my bathing shelter completely destroyed by rain and cows, my outdoor "kitchen" knocked over, an infestation of wasps in my latrine hole, and an infestation of jumping flea-like biting bugs all over my hut (even in my bed!)  I spent the night awake getting bitten by these bugs, and was told to return to the provincial house so that my hut can be fumigated.  So I'm here, waiting, again.  It feels frustrating and disappointing.  I am trying to stay positive and find some gems of meaning.  This is what I have come up with:

-When you take big risks, the possibility of failure increases as well.  You need to be prepared for this, but at the end of the day if you give your whole heart, you must learn to accept that this is enough.  The success of my second grant project is really up to my community at this point, but my first project (Ndondi Mother's Shelter) was a complete success!  Mothers are now giving birth in this shelter, and the building has been incorporated into the community in a sustainable way.

-When collaborating with others, you must be vocal about your feelings, both positive and negative.  You need to let them know if they have disappointed you.  You cannot just have this weight on your shoulders alone; it's not healthy.  If everyone is going to share in the outcome, everyone must also share in the process.

- The balance between patience and pushing, particularly when implementing projects in the third world, is important.  You may have to compromise your expectations, but you should not give them up completely.  You're there for cross-cultural exchange, for both learning and teaching.

... And that's what I've got for now.